Adulting is Childish

Adulting is Childish

A childlike worldview and adult pragmatism can co-exist. They don’t cancel each other out unless you pit one against the other. Mailing out your rent and then hashtagging adulting! negates the actual act of getting something done because it switches your motives from completing a necessary task to gaining approval from others.

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Short Story Published

Short Story Published

I spent most of my 2018 writing time either submitted my latest novel to agents or working on trying to get some freelance work. I decided 2019 would be a return to actually composing fiction and (hopefully) getting some stories published.

I was lucky enough to be accepted into the inaugural issue of Capsule Stories which can be ordered here. It’s a sharp looking magazine and I’m quite excited for mine to show up in the mailbox.

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You are Being Watched and It’s Not Okay

You are Being Watched and It’s Not Okay

It’s easy to blow this out of proportion and say our privacy has disappeared and we’ve been brainwashed into accepting it because we believe we are lost in a sea of people so even if our information is being recorded there’s no way someone would actually choose us out of the vast well of possibilities. You know why it’s so easy to do that? Because it’s actually true.

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Grocery Protest

Grocery Protest

But of course, if a businessman realized that covering baby carriages with hypodermic needles could somehow save them seven cents in a fiscal quarter, the playgrounds would be filled with children with what looked to be bleeding chicken pox. All this to say, grocery stores rarely activate more than 20% of their checkout lanes.

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Lessons Learned

Lessons Learned

Freelance writing has given me plenty of opportunities to learn. Did you know there’s a thing in olive oil called oleocanthal that helps fight cancer? Me neither. Not even right now. Anyways, I recently had the opportunity to learn that people are (big surprise) kinda shitty sometimes.

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New article over at Medium

New article over at Medium

I’ve been looking into freelance writing lately because, hey, why the hell not? I’m in the stage right now of trying to get some samples out there, so with that will come failed articles. Good thing there’s medium.com for such a scenario. Medium is essentially a self-publishing platform that people subscribe to, rate articles, and then the author has a small chance of actually getting paid for their work (tiny chance). But this isn’t about the money, right? Hell no, this is about getting some samples out there so I can convince someone to give me money at a later date. So yeah, I guess it’s all about the money but in a more convoluted way. Anyway, failed article #1 is about fun things happening inside your body. It is here. Click on this word. Or this one. Or any of these right here.

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Don't Talk Politics, Don't Throw Stones

Don't Talk Politics, Don't Throw Stones

Let’s say, for instance, our President were to moon Enrique Pena Nieto, the President of Mexico. They’re supposed to meet to discuss something inconsequential like refugees fleeing gang violence for the opportunity to live a life without the threat of being kidnapped or shot. Something innocuous. And then right before they shake hands, Trump turns around, drops his pants to his ankles, and waves his hideous ass back and forth like the flag majestically floating through the breeze. I’m assuming the press’ cameras would explode in an attempt to get the best shot, and Pena Nieto would either vomit his huevos onto his shoes or simply melt like the guys at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Basically the room would explode and Trump would moonwalk out of there thinking he totally nailed it.

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