Everyone knows social media is bad for them. But as Vonnegut said about another favorite vice, “Beer, of course, is actually a depressant. But poor people will never stop hoping otherwise."
Read moreStay Home If You’re Afraid
If you’re afraid of the vaccine, then don’t get one. However, you are going to have to suffer the consequences of that decision. Your freedom doesn’t allow you to infringe on the freedom of others. And those of us that have chosen the safe route of taking the vaccine don’t want to be put at risk because you believe Bill Gates put microchips in the vaccine or that it’s going to change your DNA.
Read moreCredit Bureaus Are Bullshit
Their rubric for creating your almighty credit score doesn’t make any sense. They're supposed to assess your risk of defaulting on loans, then penalize when you successfully pay off a loan. They’re supposed to assess your ability to properly manage your money, then penalize you for not having enough debt.
Living within your means apparently makes you a liability.
Read moreTrump’s Greatest Strength Is That He Doesn’t Care About Us →
Our president has a great capacity for not giving a shit. He doesn’t give a shit about you. He doesn’t give a shit what you think.
Read moreStrong Isn't Special
The thing I realized through the emergence of Nashville Strong is that we’re not special. Neither are the people in Boston or anywhere else where that tagline becomes used after a tragedy. I realize this sounds callous. It sounds like I’m being a contrarian and an asshole and picking on people that are going through a terrible ordeal.
But I’m not.
This is actually a good thing.
Read moreThe Dog Shit Lottery
Homeownership is a lot of work. This is no surprise. I knew that as soon as I finished signing that towering pile of papers that every small problem would be my responsibility. I just never figured one of those problems would be a dog from the trailer park shitting in my front lawn.
Read moreWatch Your Language
A word that gets repeated too many times loses its meaning. Say tree nonstop for five minutes. You’ll start to feel like you’re having a stroke. And whenever these buzzwords catch on in the cultural zeitgeist, they’re repeated until they lose all their flavor.
Read moreTurns Out We All Believe In Climate Change, We Just Don’t Really Care
The fact that the number of non-believers is so inflated makes those of us who bring our own reusable bags to the grocery store feel like Captain Planet. We get to feel like champions while not actually doing anything that makes a realistic difference. We don’t realize this because there isn’t a noticeable difference between actually doing something and just thinking we are.
Read moreIf You Support Gun Rights, You Should Also Support Supervised Injection Sites
But this isn’t about gun reform. This is about supervised injection sites (which are essentially designated areas with trained medical staff in which addicts can use drugs in a safe, sterile environment). If you don’t think the government should crack down on weapons (even military-style assault rifles), you should have no problem whatsoever with supervised injection sites.
Read moreAdulting is Childish
A childlike worldview and adult pragmatism can co-exist. They don’t cancel each other out unless you pit one against the other. Mailing out your rent and then hashtagging adulting! negates the actual act of getting something done because it switches your motives from completing a necessary task to gaining approval from others.
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