Food Chain

Give Yourself the Finger

Give Yourself the Finger

I once heard that a person can bite off their own finger. Physically. Not as a permission kinda deal. Your mouth is strong enough that if you slam a ring onto your fat finger and can’t get it off, you have the option of sticking the finger in your mouth and pretending it’s a beefstick for a moment. I would recommend trying other things first (like olive oil or prayer) but you can rest assured that you always have the nuclear option in your back pocket. There’s something in our brains that will stop you from doing this. Similar to why it’s so hard to drown yourself, your mind has some built-in preservation tactics to keep you from doing something thoroughly stupid. However, I’m pretty sure I could do it. I don’t mean this as a cocky, self-assured bravado kinda boast, but I’ve already broken a lot of my own bones. Not on purpose, but still. The precedence has been set. I also eat a lot of beef jerky so I like my chances of getting through the tendons and muscles and whatever else is in there (veins?).

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